Thursday, May 28, 2015

Darkness and Light

Confession: I'm a bit of a control freak. I've known it for sometime tho I tend to disguise it as being an 'aware parent' - that sounds less obsessive than 'control freak'. Call it what you will, it's part of me and at no time have I been more keenly aware of it than on Philip's and my latest date night. One of his colleagues told him about a place in Kitsilano called Dark Table - you go to this restaurant and eat in the dark - theory being that since you're depriving yourself of the sense of sight that your other senses are heightened. I wasn't excited about it. At all. But I got all sorts of excited in early December when a Groupon for Dark Table came through my email and I bought it thinking, "This is a perfect Christmas gift for Philip - he'll love it!" As soon as I clicked "Buy" I had immediate buyer's remorse - I dismissed it and got to work making clues for him to open Christmas morning - affirming my brilliant gift shared out of my undying love and affection for my husband - I never would have bought it otherwise. It was a hit Christmas morning and Philip was excited.

Life went on. We'd mention occasionally needing to make a reservation before the Groupon expired but we never nailed anything down. And then, something that makes me crazy happened - the bloody Groupon expired. Not willing to let this 'deal' slip away, I humbly called the restaurant and begged forgiveness and asked if they'd be willing to honor the deal if we agreed to come on a Tuesday night (or whatever night's their slowest). Sami kindly agreed and the reservation was set. There was no turning back. Now - lest you think I'm joking - this Dark Table experience really is a thing. They're all over the world - London, Chicago, Vancouver, etc. (www.darktable.ca) and have very admirable goals. I learned that 70% of the visually impaired population is unemployed so this gives them an opportunity to get a job in addition to being able to guide sighted people in a world that's foreign to us. The concept reportedly originated in Switzerland at the home of a blind man who'd blindfold his dinner guests so they would better experience the tastes of the meal. I was fascinated, but leery.

I studied the website - it assured that we'd have the opportunity to allow our eyes to adjust to the darkness before our meal. It also mentioned that we'd have to check our cell phones at the door as they didn't want any light emanating from them during the 'experience'. My blood pressure began to rise. Alas, I love my husband and we were going out - we had a babysitter and I even put on real clothes. The cab dropped us off, we sat on a lovely veranda and were presented the menu. I chose the prawns and citrus risotto, Philip chose the beef tenderloin. Then our server, Dustin, came to retrieve us. We stepped into the foyer, the door closed behind us and it was dark - really dark - the kind of dark where you get poked in the eye because you don't see the finger coming at your face dark. Dustin instructed me to put my hands on his shoulders and Philip followed by placing his hands on my shoulders and we chug-a-chugged our little train to our table. I've not been in a conga line in a very long time, and rest assured, they are intended for at least dimly lit rooms. We were seated and I about broke into a full-on panic attack and immediately engaged in some very stern self talk to keep my head from exploding. I found solace in the tiny glow-in-the-dark hands on Philip's watch that I could occasionally make out as his wrist moved. The last time I was this completely unnerved was when I taught my children how to use the mother of all curse words as we dangled on a chair lift. Dustin then reminded us that our appetizer course was a 'surprise' dish - sweet Lord, was there no end to the stress???

Philip made him promise that he wasn't going to put squid or something equally exotic in front of us - Dustin was a locked safe. He didn't give us even a hint of a hint. The plate arrived and manners flew out the window. I was poking around the plate with my fingers trying to discern what sat before me, praying there was no hidden night-vision camera recording my barbaric approach to the table. We figured out it was a salad - whew. However, do you have any clue how hard it is to eat a salad in complete darkness? We did our best - and decided we were eating a version of caprese - basil/parmesean crouton atop tomatoes and greens with balsamic vinaigrette. Next came our entrees.

At this point it's important to note that I'm not only a control freak, but I'm a daughter of a home economics teacher. Since I can remember, I've been taught the importance of food's presentation because, after all, we 'eat with our eyes' first. It's why I like white dishes - there's no pattern to compete with the food. It's why, when I helped my mom cater, we spent as much time creating the perfect lemon tree centerpiece as we did plating the food for wedding buffets. This, coupled with my preference to eat one item at a time, threw me into a tailspin. I clumsily felt around my plate - trying not to mess up my hands too much - carefully analyzing the circumference of the plate so I knew the space with which I was working. There was not one. single. bite. that didn't include two types of food. Prawn + risotto, prawn + veg, veg + risotto - you get the picture. The food was good - but instead of my taste buds being awakened to the flavors before me, they felt dulled by my constant analysis of geometry - working around the plate in a methodical manner and concentrating on remembering exactly where my water stood so I didn't end up wearing it. My hearing, however, did seem more astute - tho perhaps it was the subject that a table near-ish us was discussing. Their conversation emphasized how frighteningly average my lifestyle is - or it highlighted how, ahem, adventurous (?) their lifestyles are. Regardless, I'm glad I didn't see their faces because if fate had ever made our paths cross again I wouldn't have been able to look them in the eye.
My lovely prawns & citrus risotto

Philip's tenderloin and roasted potatoes - or is this the chocolate mousse? I don't know!?!

Dessert was another 'surprise' dish - turned out to be a very rich chocolate mousse torte. This was, by far, the trickiest course to chase around the plate in the dark. I gave up after 3 or 4 bites - I was exhausted. I'd eaten my entire dinner with my purse still hanging across my body because I didn't know if I'd be able to find it if I put it down. We finished dinner and called for the bill and boarded our shoulder train again to shuffle to the cash register. FINALLY - an 11X17" window of dim light surrounded by black drapes through which we passed our debit card. Dustin came back to guide us on one last shuffle train ride to the door leading outside where we were assaulted by the sunshine and frozen until our eyes adjusted. I could breathe again. We went for a bit of a walk before hailing a cab back home and I chalked our date up to a 'one and done' experience. I have a new appreciation for light and the gift of sight. Likewise, I have a new appreciation for dark and the hope that comes from seeing even the smallest sliver of light. Seems only fitting that my current reading is Barbara Brown Taylor's Learning to Walk in the Dark - it's clear I've got some learning to do.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Ordinary Miracles & Thanks

Turns out my self-imposed deadline to get to a better perspective by Easter worked out just fine. We still have no idea what's in store for our future or where we'll be, but today that's OK. I suppose we're living the esoteric notion we've been taught since childhood - 'you never know what the future holds' - somehow the reality of living it is far different from the cross-stitched tagline. Alas - today it's OK. And the sun is out and I saw all manner of wildlife playing as I walked the seawall this morning and saw lots of daddies with their children on the beach/in the park and mamas pushing prams so my perspective is in a good place today. It's tempered, however, by real life. Seems death is a rather constant figure these days - we've gotten news of more than a few diagnoses of neighbors, friends and children and some of the diagnoses have been accompanied by rather grim prognoses. And there's been grief in our house - for people we hold dear, for folks who don't know us but whose stories compel our family to tears. Perhaps it's observing folks living fully in the wake of their mortality being defined by a disease that has snapped me from my pity party of not knowing what's next for our little family. Most certainly I've returned my focus to gratitude - that always seems to help when times are bleak.

This week, Lydia was in the Spring Concert at our school - the fact there even was a Spring Concert is a big deal. Our music teacher went on leave and we were gifted with two job-sharing music teachers about 2 weeks before spring break (mid/late March). Watching as a parent, I knew the new teachers were outstanding - Henry was learning music history and can now tell us about Mozart, Bach, Aretha Franklin and The Rolling Stones. Since our regular teacher's leave was supposed to end this month, our new teachers worked feverishly to pull off a concert. Here we are - May 5th - they've had right at 2 months to make this happen. And on that night, our primary and intermediate choirs (which were voluntary and used their lunch hour to practice) shared multiple pieces, two classes played/sang "Don't Worry, Be Happy" on ukeleles and our intermediate band played 4 pieces. Seriously. And it was good! The feat is nothing short of amazing - and it seemed to nail exactly where each and every child could find their strengths. Lydia's group (primary choir) sang "Do a Deer" and "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (and no, I have no idea if I spelled that correctly). One thing's for sure - our daughter is a flat-out ham! It was delightful to see her enjoy herself so much and slightly frightening to see her embrace the spotlight with such fervor.

Our performer

It may seem this story has no point, but it's related - promise. The intermediate choir sang Sarah McLachlan's "Ordinary Miracle" and that one song tied all of these realities together. I cried - I tend to do that when music figures out how to define the emotional bumper cars in my head. Our little community in SC has been offering up prayers for an extraordinary miracle for a way-too-young fighter of leukemia named Lachlan Tannery. It's been heartwarming and heartbreaking to see his story play out (https://www.facebook.com/LachlanFightLikeaTiger - visit the Lachlan McIntosh Tannery Foundation to read his story) and to see our community unite to offer support for a family who's facing a nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone. And what I've learned is this: Good is in the world. Cancer is a beast. And I don't believe everything happens for a reason anymore. What I do believe is this: we're all a part of this tension-filled, makes-no-sense, ordinary miracle filled world and we need each other to make it through. Because, sometimes hard luck hits and we need people who can let us cuss, let us cry, let us be mad, let us be sad, let us love out loud, and remind us that 'ordinary' miracles are the slices of heaven that keep us going - the ones we have to cling to to remind us that we can be thankful for something. Today, I'm thankful for faith and hope, songs that put words to emotions, for folks who fight with everything in them to defeat the cancer beast, for the joy that radiates from my daughter when she sings, and for teachers that come and breathe new life into programs that could have died. After all, it is resurrection season.



As Sarah McLachlan sings:
When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
'Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle