Dear Mr. Trump, part 2

Dear President Trump:

After the violence in Charlottesville erupted, I struggled as a human and as a parent with how to frame the events for my children. They're 12 and 9 - admittedly still children, but they're maturing; my husband and I believe our responsibility is guiding them through hard things in lieu of sheltering them from the world's realities. What I landed upon was the example of a child - at bedtime that night, my daughter and I cuddled in her bed and read The Story of Ruby Bridges. My daughter, Lydia, resonated with the bravery of 6 year old Ruby in a personal way - Lydia too has changed schools a couple of times and borne the brunt of assumptions and -isms. Lydia, however, has not had racial slurs hurled at her like fists, from adults and children alike. Lydia has not sat in a classroom alone because parents were afraid and mean enough to not allow their children to attend with her. Lydia never had to have escorts from the national guard walk her through crowds of angry people who hated her for the colour of her skin. For all of the things Lydia didn't have to endure, I'm grateful. I'm also reminded that because of the ancestry of my family, we are exempt from countless stresses that our friends of colour know as part of their 'normal'.

This is not the first time I've written to you, Mr. President. The first time I wrote was just after your election and I invited you to sit with me while I wished you well and offered my hopes for your time in office. I contend, you see, that if you do/lead well, our country does well. So today, in addition to the sweet tea I offered you at my last writing, I've brought snacks - this may take awhile and promises to be a harder conversation. I'm worried. I'm worried because it seems that the notions of decency and basic human-ing have fallen asleep in our country, dare I say our world. I'm worried because we live in a time where we're not surprised with someone drives a car into people. I'm worried because people among us are finding a voice to justify their own sense of twisted superiority just because they have a singular skin colour. I'm worried because our children are being desensitized to bully tactics and are growing cynical before they even reach puberty.

My friend and part of my children's "village", Whitney, shared some powerful and troubling words in the wake of the Charlottesville attack. Whitney and I worked together at a Presbyterian camp in the summer of 2006. She cared for my 9 month and 3 year old children while I helped direct programming for older children. When my husband joined us on the weekends, Whitney was the person to whom we trusted the care of our children so we could go out to dinner. Whitney was the first choice of my children as a caregiver because Whitney is FUN! She sings, dances and plays and loves people deeply. Whitney is now a school counselor in Kentucky and is an African American woman who I consider part of our family. She gave me permission to share her words:

"You know what NOT having white privilege looks like:

Going on a walk and being afraid that something could happen and all you want to do is just get your exercise.
Trying so hard to look so friendly and NOT suspicious while shopping.
Feeling so panicked anytime you are driving and see law enforcement.
Working too much or going so far above and beyond (because you love what you do) in hopes that you can maintain your position. I would have loved to have said to also gain some recognition but that is also a part of what not having privilege looks like.
It's seeing someone doing way less than you and gaining said recognition and going higher and further.
It's changing your vernacular so as to appear non-threatening and well educated when if I want to use Ebonics, that doesn't take away that I have a Master's degree.
It's trying to educate my young brothers, sisters, siblings of color that the world is different for us so we have to do things differently.
It's thinking and overthinking EVERYTHING you do no matter how small or insignificant.
It's trying to be one step ahead so that you can appear to be right on target or at least not so far behind.
It's thinking about all these things and more at 4:15 in the morning when you should be asleep."

It has taken me some time to find my words as I've struggled with where our country is in terms of race relations. My initial words after Charlottesville were guttural sounds, shouts charged with frustration - they needed time to marinate so they could become productive. I'm troubled with the blatant racism dominating headlines. I'm troubled that many say that we need to bend toward love with one breath and then spew venom at people with different viewpoints in their next. I'm troubled that I wish my family and I had stayed in Canada where we lived for four years because our home country, the country you have been called to lead, comes off as an embarrassment quite a lot. I'm troubled that it feels we're regressing - in the year 2017 - when we should be moving forward. Perhaps your legacy will be the bringing of these dark truths into the Light and while that is painful, it's important. However, what we do with them once we see them is a critical next step, a tipping point if you will. Finding my words has not been a fast or easy endeavour. If I'm honest, I worry I'll offend people - I'm a first-born people pleaser and the thought of not being liked is scary to me. If I'm honest, it's easier for me to sit with my thoughts instead of publicly speaking what my heart has known a very long time. If I'm honest, I have work to do on myself - I've said stupid things and asked stupid questions. Alas, we're at a place in history where honesty is all we've got. I was reminded of that when I read the story of that sweet 6 year old girl in Louisiana with my very own sweet 9 year old girl in Georgia.

Here's my proposal, Mr. President: Instead of trying to fix everything with policies and sweeping motions, let's make it safe for people, ourselves included, to find a place to start. We're all at different points on our journeys and we all have different narratives into which we were born. Let's start by affirming that all our stories simply are as of today. But today, let's cling to the fact that we, as individuals and as a country, have the power and the responsibility to examine our own stories and make change happen - revolution starts one person at a time. And, Mr. President, I beg you (and begging is not my forte) to model for us how to move forward in a positive, healthy way. You have the luxury and the weight of having a whisper that is far louder than anything I or my friends say with a microphone. The manner in which you interact with all our people demonstrates how we should do the same. Like it or not, you also bear the weight of being a partner with every parent, a colleague of every business leader, a voice to which leaders of every creed will listen - regardless of political persuasion. Help us find and become the better version of ourselves.

My commitment to you is this - I, at 41 years of age, will continue to draw my inspiration from 6 year old Ruby, and 9 year old Lydia and 12 year old Henry. As a person of Christian faith, my tradition clings to the leadership of a little child and compels us to follow His example. I see the hope that is in our children. I will continue to teach my own children to stand beside people who are set apart, include people who are excluded and sit next to people who sit alone. I will teach them to do that by being brave enough to do the same. I'm ready to help you make your legacy one of healing and I'm asking you to lead us toward that reality.

Let's get to work -
Meri Kate Marcum

Homebuilding

Making a new address a home requires intentionality and work - especially if you want it to happen with any sort of speed. What I've learned is that I need a full year for a place to feel like the home I call it - for a couple of reasons:

1 - I have a horrible sense of direction - HORRIBLE. It takes me a year to really feel confident in getting around town without the need for GPS. Even then, I often plug in addresses to Google Maps as my security blanket if I have to go from one place to another especially if I'm accustomed to going from home not between two places. I've learned to laugh at myself and that Philip is typically correct when he advises that if I think I should  turn left, I should actually turn right. And I trust Henry's sense of direction far more than my own - it's about being comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses and since 'north' to me is always up, I know I need help getting around.

2 - A year gives me time to experience some of the unique attractions and offerings of an area. We are funny, actually I am funny, because I want to experience the quirky and weird offerings of where we live. In Canada, the annual Whistler Cheese Rolling competition was one of my favourites (https://www.whistler.ca/events/canadian-cheese-rolling-festival) - seriously. In keeping with the cheese theme, I'm pretty pumped about the upcoming Grilled Cheese Festival coming to Atlanta in October. As I look to uncover these funky gigs, I try to spend our first year drinking in the 'high holies' of what our community has to offer. This summer gave the kids and me time to do Atlanta things - experiences people come here to do on purpose. Today I'm celebrating what we found that gives this area its flavour as we were tourists in our own town and now have a growing list of places to visit/things to do next!

     World of Coca-Cola

First, serious props to The City Pass Atlanta (http://www.citypass.com/atlanta) that allowed the kids and me to see 5 popular Atlanta attractions at a steep discount! We had 9 days to visit them all and I was determined to squeeze every penny out of our passes. We started at the World of Coca-Cola (https://www.worldofcoca-cola.com/) and we were excited to take along dear friends who were visiting from British Columbia and a new friend from our new neighbourhood! The opening movie made me cry - it highlighted how Coke products are part of many special memories for folks - wouldn't you know vignettes in the film were from Whistler, BC? It was a collision of worlds that made my eyes leak. I was prepared to be underwhelmed - how much fun can you really make a carbonated beverage? However, we really had a great time! We designed our own coke bottles, took selfies, enjoyed a 4-D ride and, of course, sampled Coke products from around the world. The sampling room was the kids' favourite and we all left sufficiently sugared and keyed up. The gift store is massive and has souvenirs suitable for all sorts of budgets before you walk out into Centennial Park where you may play in dancing fountains, throw a football or simply run off the sugar you just ingested.

We were handed samples as we walked in to learn about the  Coke's history - starting off with a bang!

Memorabilia central

"The Vault" protecting the secret formula for Coca-Cola

Photographic proof of the effects of excessive amounts of sugary drinks

     Georgia Aquarium

We brought the kids to the aquarium when they were younger and had a ball so we were excited about coming back. However, we'd also been spoiled by our experiences at the indoor/outdoor Vancouver Aquarium that we loved. We had a great time when we returned to the Georgia Aquarium (http://www.georgiaaquarium.org/), but I've got to admit, the crowds were uncomfortably overwhelming. I was glad we had gotten the tickets at a discount as I left EXHAUSTED from the human bumper cars we seemed to play as we navigated the different areas. The sea lion show was OUTSTANDING and we had lots of fun watching the skills that had been taught to the rescued animals. While it was nice to have different sea habitats enjoy individual 'pods' in the aquarium, it felt like much of the square footage of the facility was the common area leading to each pod and some of the tanks felt small because of that. However, the moving sidewalk through the main attraction did not disappoint - HUGE rays, sharks and fish with an almost 360 degree view. It was fantastic. When you come to Atlanta, I'd consider putting the aquarium on the list of places to visit, but make certain you're there when the doors open and escape before the crowds are too large.

View of the city from the parking garage - photo credit: Henry

Sea Lion inspiration

Tunnelling to be with penguins - only Lydia braved the crowded, tight space

She always makes new friends - wherever we go!

Homage to the seahorses - in honour of her swim team

Look at that wing span!

 

     College Football Hall of Fame

It's no secret that we Marcums have missed college football these last four years, missed it something fierce! We struck out on July 4, the four of us, to experience the Chick-fil-a College Football Hall of Fame (https://www.cfbhall.com/) - there are so many southern goodnesses wrapped in the name of this place and we had great fun! We spent two hours wandering, learning, experiencing and celebrating our family's favourite spectator sport and lunched at the attached Chick-fil-a after our grand time. The Hall of Fame does a fine job making sure even those who may not love the sport have a great time. Each of us chose our team upon entering and our lanyard passes allowed us to learn fun facts about each team as we wandered through the facility. We had the chance to be ESPN Game Day broadcasters, watch Clemson win the national championship (again) on virtual reality, create our own touchdown dances, and run drills on turf. I'd highly recommend the experience for any family with interest in college football - especially when you get to have a photo with the National Championship trophy during the year in which your alma mater is the reigning title holder!

First stop - Deshaun's banner

Wall of helmets

Go Tigers!

Lydia finds "The Judge" Jeff Davis' name on the Hall of Fame marquis 

It's always great to be a Tiger, but this year is even more special!

Though she be small, she is fierce!

The family friendly combine...

Virtual Reality - makes you look silly but sure is fun!

VR Henry style

If you know Henry you know he has a long-standing love for Notre Dame - this was a fun moment!

Lydia's victory face on the jumbo-tron

Toughness in action

     CNN Studio Tour  

We journeyed up the longest free-standing escalator at least in Georgia (maybe the US? I don't remember) to visit the CNN Studios (http://tours.cnn.com/). We weren't allowed to take photos once we got in, but it was fascinating to see where much of the world's news gets its televised start. Interestingly, the escalator originally led to an indoor theme park as part of the Omni Hotel that ultimately didn't work, but Ted Turner decided it'd be a great way to access a revenue stream by offering studio tours! Thus began this ability to explore the first cable news network. We all agreed it was neat to see, but we weren't sure it was  our favourite. Frankly, it probably meant more to me as I remembered more clearly when the network began. Our guide was fantastic and Lydia was chosen to help demonstrate the green screen technology which was fun. I'd recommend it as long as you're visiting the studios in conjunction with something else - if I had to choose a standalone activity, I'd pick another option.

Looking down on the World Congress Center

On our way UP to the studio tour

It's always amazing to think we live near the WORLD headquarters of anything - Atlanta is headquarters to lots of places and really is a cool place to visit!

Future meteorologist?

Or future ghost?

     Center for Civil & Human Rights

Our visit to the Center for Civil and Human Rights (https://www.civilandhumanrights.org/) was powerful, challenging and emotionally charged. I was glad our kids are a bit older as it's reading intensive and text heavy, and, frankly, it's a BIG concept for young people to wrap their heads around. I didn't take photos as I was too wrapped up in experiencing all that was offered. Despite the fact we've talked with our children about civil/human rights and been very frank with them, seeing photos, watching videos and learning of events and norms in our nation's history that are so unsavoury is hard to digest. But it was a beautiful experience as well. Lydia resonated mightily with the Freedom Riders' stories and Henry was deeply moved by the lunch counter sit ins stories and both were deeply disturbed that people ever defended and promoted segregation. When we entered the final room in which human rights are explored more specifically, we had frank conversations about why we make sure we know where what we buy comes from and who makes it. We talked about women's and girls' rights and the notions connected on a deeper level than ever as Henry and Lydia saw themselves and their sibling in the eyes of the stories covered. We left the space exhausted - completely spent - but with a renewed energy to embody the fact that we are all equal as we move into any place or phase of life. I would HIGHLY recommend the Center to any and all who have children who read well - be prepared to have hard conversations and name hard truths - it's a critically important experience.

In the short 4.5 months we've been in town, we've begun to home-build by experiencing our new region in a hands-on way. I've not even shared the stories of Six Flags and Whitewater adventures (stories to come, not to worry) or of Stars & Strikes Bowling or of Sparkles roller skating. In short, we're learning that we've landed in a culturally rich place full of opportunities to explore all sorts of facets of ourselves. And we look forward to visiting the King Center and the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and the Kennesaw State University WWII & Holocaust Museum and hiking Kennesaw Mountain. The first third of our first year here has borne some lovely, wonderful experiences that have only been augmented by new and old friends and family and we look forward to the final two thirds of the year ingraining this place into our souls as our home in the truest sense. And this place, these people and these experiences are what tempers the grief and helps me to uncover the joy and wonder present here. And this place, these people and these experiences are ones I want to share with any and all who come visit - please know our door is open. Thank you for joining us in this journey!