I'm not much for new year's resolutions - seems they always fall by the wayside by the middle of February. However, 2019 is a year I'm ready to usher out intentionally - it has been a year that has stretched me in ways that were uncomfortable, exhausting and affirming, but I'm ready for it to be over. 2019 has been a year that I've allowed to take the reins and twist my time so that I've lost focus on who and what is most precious to me. So this year, I'm naming goals for 2020 - not the 'lose weight', 'read more', 'to-do list' kinds of goals, instead I'm naming goals for how to move into this next decade more alive, awake and present. I'm writing them down so I may refer back to them and I'm sharing them publicly so I'm accountable to the intentions with which I'm walking into this new year.
Goals for 2020:
I suppose I've got only one goal, but it's got a lot of meat on its bones...I'm going to endeavour to bring life back into BALANCE. Here's my vision of how that will look (as of today):
- I will leave work at work. I've disabled work email notifications on my phone and will commit to being fully present in the office. I will also be fully present when I'm at home.
- I will move more. Self-care will be a priority - not on the bottom of the list, but at the top. I will take better care of myself physically so I am better able to engage with my family, friends and colleagues.
- I will tend to my mental, spiritual and emotional health and encourage my children to do the same. This will look different ways - reading, engaging in soul level conversations, writing more.
- I will set boundaries so that our whole family has times of rest - acknowledging that no one is able to do all the things, and that everyone needs to learn to choose what is life giving to them.
- I will be fully present with my children and husband. Time is running short on the days when all four of us live under one, single roof - it's gone so quickly and I don't want to miss a minute.
- I will enjoy living closer to family. We live closer to our parents and my sister, brother-in-law and nephews than we did for 4 years and while we don't see each other super often, I want the time we share to be meaningful.
- I will talk with dear friends more regularly.
The list is a little daunting, no doubt. But goals are intentions to work toward. I wonder if 2019 would have felt less intense if I'd had a list of goals to refer back to and keep me grounded. I wonder if the magnitude of unexpected circumstances would have been more manageable had I not tipped the scales so far out of balance. I wonder if balance is even achievable. Our world is out of balance - we see it every day. Remembering not to take my cues from the messages swirling around that define goodness as having things, success as having power and love as a store bought commodity is a daily challenge. Raising children who can see through those swirling messages is overwhelming. At the end of the day, I realize they will learn most by watching their parents model, as best as we can, what true goodness, success and love look like. Our world is thirsty for joy - I contend that is born out of striving for balance. Brene Brown says there is no joy without gratitude - I will practice gratitude more and openly share it with my people. 2020 - I'm coming for you - and I welcome the opportunity to get re-tuned. Out with the old and in with new is meaningful in a new way this year - and this new, intentional bend toward balance I intend to carry well beyond the middle of February.
