I've always found my greatest joy in working with children - whether serving in children's ministry, at day camp, preschool or as parent. The preparation process for our family has affirmed this joy...from the parental perspective particularly. It's interesting to me, however, that the shepherding of my children through this transition has given me greater clarity about myself and, specifically, my faith. We're a little over two months into this journey and I've come to embrace my faith in a new way - understanding differently just how significant the Incarnation of God in a baby boy really was/is. The leadership of my children as we've figured out what this next step looks like has challenged and motivated me to reclaim a sense of innocence and adventure that my sometimes cynical adult self (who's most pleased to take pride in my own sense of logic and cognitive reasoning) reduces to 'mere' child's play.
Child's play - they're on to something there. The playfulness of life and the change it demands/inspires isn't celebrated enough. While we grown ups tend to temper the notion of adventure and exploration with the sadness that's inherent in a change of address - particularly when it's far away - my children have shown me that the adventure is where it's at! Don't get me wrong - everyone in our family has had nights or afternoons or mornings where the tears of lament flowed freely as we grieve the reality we'll leave behind. However - my children have taught me that swimming in that pool of lament is not the fun part - they're looking ahead - dreaming about what will be - accepting the grief as natural but choosing to look forward and move toward what's next as the place they throw their energy.
We looked at their new school's website together for the first time this week - I was nervous because I was scared they'd hate it or react apathetically. However, their reaction to what the future holds lifted me up and clearly said to me that all is well. They were quickly picking out the clubs they want to join, they were rejoicing that the school day starts at 9AM instead of 8AM, they were laughing with delight at the sight of their school campus and marveling at the fact that 26 languages/cultures are represented within its walls. And in their excitement, I got this 'baby Jesus' thing in a new way. While I'd always thought about Jesus coming as a baby as kind of 'method acting' to show that God is a creative, new kind of king, this week I understood anew that Jesus growing as a child into an adult has its own lessons for me to learn. My faith deepened as I learned from my children and my perspective on God's Incarnation was tweaked. I again reclaimed a piece of myself that could have long since been lost as I saw my children approach this new chapter of our lives with joy, enthusiasm and grace, and for that I'm grateful. This little flicker that Henry & Lydia have rekindled sparkled my wanderlust anew and my dream to have an adventure that would rival that in the movie Goonies (who's filming site I get to actually visit on our drive out - for real - this is my most favorite movie ever, I'm totally geeked out by this prospect).
I thought my top 10 list of learnings to date was neatly summarized; I realize now I was wrong. Perhaps my #1 learning to date is that I need to keep my eyes open for the examples my children offer...for it is clear they have much to teach me. Most importantly my 'list of learnings' should always include one more number - one more blank - for I hope that list is never complete. I'm happy to say that the notion of 'faith like a child' is more tangible to me now that I've experienced it's richness anew. And - I'll always find my greatest joy in working with children and I'm deeply honored that they so willingly share their trust while being so delightfully open to what they have to give and receive from the world. Thanks be to God for these deep, precocious, innocent, vibrant souls among us and for the privilege to parent them - and may we maintain our own spark as we continually grow into their parents, teachers and friends.
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