The birth of this blog came about as I pondered what life would be like as we made a big family move. I knew I wouldn't physically sit down and write with a pen on paper about our experience but I also knew I wanted some sort of chronicle of our adventure to share with our kids as they get older. I've been very intentional to be positive as I've written - honest - but positive. I don't think it's entirely helpful to complain and I hate whining. I. REALLY. HATE. WHINING. So it's an odd thing for me to compose this post but I would not do our experience justice if I didn't record some of the crap that comes along with a big move...and I don't want to paint a picture like Norman Rockwell because we all know that's just not real. So here's authentic me trying to condense into one essay what some of the mess has been in this adventure - I'll really try not to whine - and I'll return to positive thoughts, hopefully by the end of this post.
Borders are funny things - international ones anyway. There's no real line you cross - no sign that you're heading for topsy turvy in parts of your life - you show your passport, get a piece of paper stapled to it, wave to a new flag and POOF! You're in. Yea - it's oversimplified, but at it's essence this is what happens (perhaps with a 2.5 hour wait in the border offices, but I digress). I've heard stories of folks turned away just because they overwhelmed the office staff and things such as that but that wasn't our experience. However, that invisible line is powerful. Here's some of what it can do:
-You may be required to pay off your car before moving across an international border. It's true - we had to do it. It was a bit shocking. It wasn't my idea of fun. But we did it and now we don't have a car payment so there's that.
-Toll free numbers, even if called from a US cell phone, are inoperable when called from Canada. Yep! And this makes for all sorts of nonsense...especially when companies refuse to give out a regular old phone number that you could call from your new landline.
-If you want a full, open work permit they'll tell you at the border that you have to go back to the States for a physical and bring proof back to Canada that you had it before you can work in education or in the medical field. It's true - and I get it - but it's kinda funny too.
Many folks over the past 10 days have tolerated and even supported my one woman battle with Verizon Wireless. Let me just say that it has been exhausting and much more time consuming than it ever should have been. And as this interaction has dragged on I got to thinking about borders in the first place. They're everywhere and we make a lot of light about not being boxed in by borders or feeling like we have to color inside the lines. But borders can often get in the way. You see - this giant 'communications' company said they didn't have a number I could call from Canada to resolve this in one interaction...therefore I had to follow up with facebook messages and emails and media contacts...ridiculous, really. Now keep in mind I've not even turned on my Verizon phone since September 1st - I didn't want to get charged for using it in a 'foreign' country since, as they told me, the US would have to 'borrow' satellite service from Canada if I did. Now this whole notion of borrowing satellite service holds about as much water with me as my children's claims that they have no idea how the empty Halloween candy wrappers ended up under the couch. As I understand it, satellites are in space and I don't know how any country has real estate rights to some piece of metal floating in outer space?!?! But whatever. I haven't used my phone and was naturally irritated when I got a huge bill for 'early termination' of my contract. After 10 days of all this back and forth business they finally forgave the early termination fee and admitted there was no late fee (as I'd told them and proven to them) and then I asked the really hard question - how may I pay you? Uh-oh - that whole border thing reared its head again. Their *brilliant* solution was for me to facebook them the card number I wanted to use to pay the bill along with the security code and expiration date and they'd update my account right away. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Um, not gonna happen. They let me know that the website wouldn't be an option because I wasn't in the States (that's helpful) and again, I couldn't call their 800 number because...you guessed it...I've crossed the border. Good heavens. So here's the plan - our family will drive ourselves to Washington state where we will seek out a brick and mortar Verizon Wireless store...I will walk in...and ever so politely interact with a human being and pay for my final month of service. There will be no emails, no facebook, no response from a different person for each question asked. I will talk face-to-face with a person - one person - who will answer all of my questions. But I'll have to show my passport to do it. Ludicrous.
We caught another zinger last week when the realtor who rented our apartment to us called Philip to let him know that the owner (whom we've never met or even been able to contact personally) is selling our unit. Lovely. The tricky part is that the guy who rented the space to us isn't the listing agent so another real estate group came to take photos and list our home on the MLS. This was new for us as we'd both only lived in apartment complexes that were a single complex - our building is owned by a whole bunch of different folks who bought individual units for investment purposes and such. Why don't we buy our place and it's 1184 square feet of living space? The asking price is $638,000 and there's a 20% down payment required and our visas expire in 3 years. So - renting is the way to go for us. The irony is thick though - we just completed a major renovation project on our house in Clemson and our apartment building is now going through a major renovation. I've laughed when folks complain about how long it's taking because I feel right at home, and even liberated, as this is NOT a DIY project like I'm used to. And the transformation is pretty amazing - it looks lovely - which is probably why the owner of our place wants to sell it. All that aside - it stinks to have to clean the place to show - we've just finished going through that in Clemson. Folks have suggested we not clean it or leave dirty dishes in the sink and what-not, but our hope is that if it sells, another investor will buy it, hence we can stay...so the showings are a bit of an interview for us as tenants too - and so we have to stay on top of it. That, combined with the fact that we're not telling the kids (figure there's no need to upset them until we know if we have to move), is a pain. I'm terrible at keeping secrets - really terrible. And I don't like unknowns...so we've just decided to trust that all will be well and things will work out as they're meant to...and we laugh, because really, this is actually very funny. Who'd have ever thought 2 months into this we'd be facing the sell of our apartment - at least we've got time. They have to honor our lease through July so there's no need to get all wound up, right?
I've learned a lot in this border crossing experience. My appreciation for small businesses has been renewed as has my commitment to do my best to give mom and pop shops my business. I've learned that big companies count on you to weary of a fight and that they bank on you giving up because they make it laborious. But I've also learned that if you don't give up, a big business might just realize that doing the 'right' thing is their best option. Sadly - they still see it as an option - carefully weighed against the power of the almighty dollar and some statistical report that lists our business as an impersonal unit without regard for the people behind it. I also learned these big businesses don't do any favors for their employees and I feel for the folks who work on their frontlines. They have to deal with a lot of grumpy people and that must suck. I've also re-learned that the most constant thing in life is change and the best way to manage is to embrace it and roll with it because fighting just makes you callous and tired. And if you step back and look at the big picture, some of the curve balls make for the best laughs of all. So, this weekend, we'll cross the border a couple more times and what we'll do in addition to paying Verizon is this:
-Get the kids some new tennis shoes
-buy cheese - it's all sorts of expensive here (like $8.00 for a 2 cup bag of shredded cheddar...not kidding)
-head to Seattle for some coffee and some time in the space needle
-laugh with my kids and husband as we wait in line to cross an imaginary line
-celebrate that we're able to move pretty freely between two countries and be grateful for the folks who made that possible - especially during this remembrance weekend
-come back to our home with a little taste of our former home and get right back at it
For I know this: life is about getting back at it - not stopping - and laughing when you can think of nothing else to do. These laughable moments are holy ones - so are the ones that make us cry. And life is about relationships - with dear, dear friends who are in the midst of their own battles (many that are much more significant than mine with Verizon). I relish the value of a friend's voice on the other end of the phone or the comfort of a hug when there just aren't words. And I miss the nearness of so many who I hold dear while being grateful for new relationships that make my experience of the world richer. We're all in it together folks and that's something I'll never take for granted.
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