Family Day

This post is a bit delayed as I had crafted paragraphs of thoughts and my opinions on Valentine's Day but then chose not to post it.  I suppose my opinions on the matter of the pink/red/flower laden day are actually inconsequential, so I decided I'd just leave it with the hope that the world could choose a moment every day to pause and be loving.  Seems to me that if we practiced loving and adding love to the world on a daily basis that the world may become more loving and kind.  The one piece from that unpublished post that I'll reserve to pull out another time is the encounter I had with my seventh grade math teacher who belittled flowers I received one Valentine's Day...I'll save that story.  For surely, there will be a time that's it's applicable again...  All that to say, I'm playing catch up - refocusing on the intent of this blog - chronicling our time here in Canada as honestly as I can.

We're known for having 'family days' - days that aren't planned beyond the fact that the four of us will venture out together and greet whatever crosses our path.  I love these days and some of my favorite memories have been born on these kinds of days.  Needless to say, I was thrilled to learn that British Columbia actually has a Family Day provincial holiday - brilliant!  So - Monday before last the kids were out of school and Philip didn't have to work and we embraced our first Canadian Family Day by celebrating all weekend!  We took our time leaving the house on Saturday - a beautiful albeit cold day - and we wandered down the street for smoothies on our way to the aquabus.  We boarded the pontoon boat for the brief ride across False Creek to Granville Island so the kids could serve as tour guides to Philip.  The three of us had made this same trip while he was in Atlanta for a wedding back in November and Henry and Lydia had quite a time showing him around Kids Mart.  We ducked in and out of stores none of us had visited and went back to the restaurant where we'd eaten without Philip so he could be included in our conversations having had the experience with us.  We wandered for a couple of hours and then hopped the boat back across the waterway and began our walk home.  We took a circuitous route - crossing in front of the Vancouver Art Gallery and checking out the giant rocking horse proclaiming the arrival of the Year of the Horse as part of lunar new year celebrations.  We stopped at the kids' favorite restaurant for poutine (a truly Canadian delicacy of French Fries doused with gravy and topped with cheese curds...which really should be a Southern dish - it would fit right in).  We wound down to the convention center area to see projected photos as the sun went down over the water.  The fifty winning photos (out of 28,000+ entries) caught moments of extreme sports and were truly amazing.  We wandered past the Olympic torch and headed home.  It was a lovely day - wonderful to be outside in the sunshine - and it was a day that made me laugh out loud.  Never, not in a million years, had I imagined the term 'aquabus' in my personal vocabulary and it certainly didn't occur to me that we'd be semi-regular patrons.  'Hopping the creek' wasn't new to me - after all, Philip and I met while living in Charleston on the SC coast...the coast of the Atlantic Ocean and now we claim the Pacific Ocean as home.  This time last year saw me functioning as a single parent mostly with several part time jobs, weekly dance classes for Lydia, basketball and martial arts for Henry and more grey hairs than I'd ever had before.  So on this sunny Saturday before Family Day, I laughed.

Outdoor Photography exhibit - the only one where I took a pic, naturally, it's a Storm Trooper...sort of extreme sport enthusiast, right?

Happy Year of the Horse!

4 years ago right now the Olympics were HERE and this torch was burning

 

But Saturday's laughter didn't hold a candle to the laughter brewing in response to Sunday and Monday.  We went to our version of Academy Sports called Sport Chek in search of one thing - and honestly I don't even remember what the one thing was.  What we found were several racks of used ski and snowboard gear on sale at huge discounts.  And we left with a lot more than one thing.  This, you see, is also hilarious to me.  When we visited last year and meandered up to Whistler for skiing fun, it was obvious very quickly that I preferred to serve as the family cheerleader when it comes to this sport.  The kids, however, spent the rest of last winter asking when we'd be skiing again and Philip wanted to conquer skiing himself.  So - here we are - this Southern girl now lives in a home that boasts 2 sets of skis, 1 snowboard and all the 'stuff' that comes with these activities.  I did invest in my own snow pants and ski jacket just so I could look the part as I cheer on my family - however, I really intend to get some quality time in front of a fireplace somewhere with a good book and a good cup of coffee while my family hits the slopes.  Turns out, our coastal home here in Vancouver [where we're enjoying a milder winter than my SC family and friends] is a mere 15 minute drive from its closest ski area!  We knew Grouse Mountain was the closest peak, but we had no idea how easy it is to access.  On our first visit we rode up the Skyride to the plateau, hiked in the snow, threw snowballs and explored the restaurants.  Then we rode the tractor-pulled sleigh up to the peak flats where we scouted out where to buy hot cocoa and where to practice snow skills.  We left with a 'Local's Pass' up the mountain for a year and 3 out of 4 of us left with an appetite to hit the mountain donning skis or snowboard.  And I laughed again...louder this time.  We hadn't even made it to Monday.

You can't get new sporting equipment and not want to put it to use, so this was our aim for the official Family Day.  We stopped back by Sport Chek to pick up the skis since the bindings had been added and headed for the hills.  Everyone was suited up, except me, which turned out to be OK but I briefly worried a little, having not thought through my attire completely, since I was sidetracked by thinking through our children's attire.  My anxiety was high - hoping the kids would remember what they'd learned in their lessons last season and realizing that I had NO advice to offer Henry as he strapped on his snowboard for the first time.  We got all our equipment hauled up to the Skyride, bought our lift tickets and we were off.  We got up to the mountain, disembarked the gondola and it was time for rubber to meet the road - or fiberglass to meet the snow as was the case.  Though I had brought my book with me, it stayed firmly planted in our bag as I became the chief snowboard strapper and ski seater for the kids.  Lydia and Philip took off to practice skiing while I hung out with Henry.  This all seemed absolutely smart until I got him all strapped onto the board and looked into his blue eyes and said, "I have no idea what to tell you other than GO.  So...GO!"  And he went.  And he fell.  And I strapped him back in and told him to go again.  He did great for his first time out - especially with the high quality instruction he received.  We all got quite the workout - I did more consecutive squats on that Monday than I've ever done in my life - clearly my decision to climb the 9 flights of stairs to our apartment each day has come in handy.  As the sun started dropping in the sky and lights started coming on on the slopes, I laughed again.  You see, the one thing I had [tried to] adamantly proclaim was that we needed to be home at a reasonable time because Monday is an actual school night and we didn't need the kids going to school exhausted.  Ha!  As we boarded the Skyride back to the parking lot it was dark as pitch and regular bedtimes had flown out the window.  We grabbed a pizza from our favorite spot here in town and headed home - and at this moment I missed the convenience of simply heading back to our hotel room as we did in Whistler last year. 

Alas - our first official Family Day is in the books.  And ski/snowboard equipment is stored throughout our apartment and lessons are booked for this coming weekend.  I'll have a book in my bag again on Saturday but will also be suited up in my snow gear because I get to accompany the kids on their lessons.  Fear not, the camera will be in hand and I look forward to embracing my role as Marcum Family Sports Photographer.  Philip will ski and I'll continue to laugh at the irony of my SC self now having a 'Local's Pass' to a ski resort - life is a funny animal full of twists and turns.  Lucky for me the twists and turns are ever so entertaining and my travelling companions are pretty darn fun; this Canadian life is a good one indeed.

 

Before...

 

 

Sleigh Ride!

 

Henry Snowboarding - he did GREAT!

Post skiing Snowman building

Post ski snack

Super Bowl Wallflowers?

If you've ever felt that two back to back experiences were separated by some cosmic divide then you know precisely how our evening played out yesterday.  It was the 'big game' and we celebrated in grand football fan style - complete with friends, appetizers and even a cake that looked like a football field.  We've been excited to be part of the Super Bowl frenzy as we've followed the Seahawks' road to the game more closely than usual since we're now west coast-ers [Go Hawks! Even though I really like Peyton Manning].  That being said, it was a notch below devastating when we learned Saturday (a mere 24 hours before kickoff) that we would NOT be able to see any of the US Super Bowl ads.  This, for me, is the primary incentive to bother tuning into the game - I'm more of a college football fan and get irritated pretty quickly by the professional league and its obscene salaries.  I was looking forward to cute puppies and Doritos cowboys - and I was bummed.  Alas - we hosted some friends and the fellowship was quite fun; it was great to dust off and don our entertaining hats.  The other bonus to watching the Super Bowl on the west coast is that the kids' bedtime was normal.  Kickoff was at a most convenient 3:20PM and the game wrapped up by 8PM.  We learned that tight space doesn't affect children's abilities to enjoy themselves and create new games while we parents enjoyed each other's company with the kiddos alongside us.  I overcame my anxiety about entertaining in our little place and look forward to doing it more.  It was a really fun evening.

Once our guests departed and our kids were settled in their beds, our evening took a serendipitous turn toward contrast.  Philip pulled up the DVR queue and started the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  It's a 2012 film that chronicles the senior year of a group of self-proclaimed 'wallflowers' and their integration of a new freshman into their cohort.  The story is an important one - and a hard one.  And I saw it through two different sets of eyes as we tuned in last night.  First, I saw it as a parent and had to breathe deeply so as not to hyperventilate when I saw the drug and alcohol use and the physical nature of high school relationships that the movie portrays.  It was a vivid reminder that this parenting gig is not easy and that in addition to establishing trust with our children, there's a lot of 'plugging in', loving despite unexpected realities and equipping required of us who've been trusted with these souls we nurture.  I also saw myself in the film a little bit - high school for me was a fun time but I always knew in the midst of it that high school was not the pinnacle of my life.  For that I'm grateful and, in truth, wouldn't go back to that era for anything.  I was lucky to have my own cohort of supportive, accepting friends with whom I was safe to soul search and begin the process of my becoming.  The group in the movie dealt with some hard, hard stuff - I won't go into detail as I don't want to blow the movie if you choose to watch it - and I'd highly recommend it.

After the movie ended, the contrast between the Super Bowl and Wallflower was stark.  And it occurred to me that while a lot of people probably feel sorry for the world's 'wallflowers' and their inability to conform to the 'norm', I found myself feeling sorry for some of the guys who played in the Super Bowl.  I know - that sounds utterly bizarre...they have their mega million dollar contracts, life in the fast lane and all.  But, for the first time ever, it occurred to me that for some, if not many, of the folks on these professional fields, the identities they embraced in junior high and high school [that were affirmed by rising through the ranks of college and professional athletics] are the identities by which their entire lives have been defined.  They've not had the opportunity or encouragement to consider the possibility of other passions - ones that may have been something other than the sport at which they most excel.  They've been pigeonholed.  The other piece I'd never considered was the fact that these guys may have never even had the chance to claim the freedom that comes with anonymity.  That's sad to me.  It seems so limiting and offers little opportunity to dig deep and explore within when you're under a constant looking glass.

As disjointed as it was, I'm glad it worked out that we watched these two broadcasts on the same night - and I'm glad that I've never found myself defined by only one ability/early identity/persona - and I'm glad that I've gotten to work on my 'junk' in pieces as I've grown through junior high/high school/college/etc.  I'm still working on my own junk now, but because I was able to start that process early on, I now have tools to reason through it and work through it in a self-guided sort of way.  I know who I can trust to help me walk through valleys, process my own growing edges and challenge me to continue in my becoming.  And I have the luxury of enjoying my cocooning season when I can hole up into my own thoughts without some photographer taking my photo from behind a bush.  Though I may not make millions by being a 'wallflower', I claim it as my rich life.  And I hope that for at least a person or two in the world I can be part of their trusted cohort and help them as we all grow into ourselves.  Here's to the wallflower in all of us - my prayer is that we always seek to surround ourselves with those who help us in our becoming and celebrate the value of true community.  And I pray we raise children who seek to do the same.