Marcum musings on life as an expat: When Gratitude Leaks out my Eyes

It's hard to focus today - partly because the skies are grey and there's a coolness to the air that makes me want to be outside, not in my office. It's also because the to do list is scattered and in my brain, not on paper, so choosing which thing to do next isn't coming naturally. However, it's MOSTLY because I talked with Henry before I came to work today (thank God for technology that makes miles seem smaller). He's in Florence, Italy, right now - he's a lone traveler, staying in a hostel, in charge of entertaining himself. This wasn't the original plan, and the plan shifted substantially after it was too late to change reservations for flights. I worried with (maybe with him?), and definitely for him. Since May 9th he's been outside the US, exploring the world and connecting with new people. He's done a yeoman's job leaning into independence, adventure and adulthood, and I've had to practice what I've long preached about holding loosely the apron strings that once were tied securely around my waist.

What has impressed me most? This young man, who I'm pretty sure will return to Marietta as a full-grown man, was the only male who went on a trip designed for education majors (tho he's not an education major) and knew no one in the travel group. The pictures of him with children he met and worked with show joy and a spark in him that can only ignite by traveling to lands and interacting with new cultures. I haven't gotten pictures of him in Italy as much - partly due to solo travel and partly due to 3G internet speeds - but I am oh-so-eager to see his slide show when he comes home on Friday. He's hopping a train to Rome tomorrow, he's enjoyed family-style pasta dinners with Australians, Dutch, UK, Canadian and African travelers at his hostel, he's reveled in the hills of Tuscany and awakened to the view of olive groves each morning. He's navigated public transport, walked the 5 miles back from downtown Florence to said hostel just to experience the journey, and listened when his body told him to rest.

Henry has verbalized life experiences in ways that demonstrate how deeply his still waters run...noting the abrupt shift from communal travel to solo travel, naming the overwhelm of a layover in Milan with train challenges, figuring out he's more into seeing countrysides than shopping. He's becoming who he is meant to be, and I have the extreme privilege to bear witness to the process. I am INSANELY proud of who he is and who he is becoming. I've felt tears prickle the backs of my eyes for the past three days and the only thing I can attribute them to is deep and abiding gratitude. I am so very grateful to be a mom - and I'm even more grateful that I'm mom to Henry and to Lydia.

They're both people whom I'd want to have in my life even if they weren't my own and I'm stupidly excited to continue to know them as adults. They have level heads, appreciate the small stuff but don't get hung up on it, know their worth is not in things but in how they live among people, want the world to be more just, and are confident in who they are and not swayed by the whims of the latest trends. When I wax nostalgic about my favorite memories of them as littles, it's not in the regret that they're not little anymore sort of way. The nostalgia is born from having felt time literally slip through my fingers far faster than I ever imagined possible. But the hope? The hope is in being here to walk alongside them as they become. My mama told me when we first shared the news that she and my dad would be grandparents that parenting would be the hardest job Philip and I would ever have, and it would also bring our greatest joy. Turns out, what I thought would be the hard part was not a function of surviving the "terrible twos" or the "teenage years" - instead, it's how to simultaneously hold all the love for these two while allowing them to experience the realities of life.

Today - May 27, 2025, I can honestly say we've done some of this parenting stuff pretty well. Our children, read young adults, are proof that in spite of our rookie errors and missteps along the way, they're doing alright. The tears still prickle the backs of my eyes, my heart is still swollen with love and gratitude, and my life is so much better because they're in it. And come Friday night, the world will feel righter because all four of us will be under the same roof for the first time since December and I am really, really excited.

When I first saw the waterfall statue, it looked like he was cliff diving - thankfully that was an optical illusion! Seeing him in a scarf in a market was cool - he wore a similar scarf when he rode a camel to protect from the sand!

I've rarely used Life 360 on the kids - honestly, they probably use it more to figure out where I am. BUT - check out where Henry stayed! It looked like a castle from Google Earth's lens. SO grateful for technology that lets me get a glimpse into this trip.