Lenten Musings

I've decided my Lenten practice is an addition, not an abstention this year. There have been years I've given up meat, alcohol and such, but I realized that this year I would do well to add writing to my daily practice. Not only is writing my passion, it's also my sanity, often my therapy. When I think about how my faith is strengthened, it's by spending time with my head and my heart and trying to marry the two on paper. Note - it's Friday. Lent started on Wednesday. This is my first entry. It's 11:23pm, and so it's almost Saturday. The start is not auspicious, but it's a start, nonetheless. 

It seems natural that this first entry is happening from my room in Assembly Inn, in Montreat, NC. This place grounds my faith - it's where I first began to sense a call to ministry, it's where I formed my deepest friendships, it's where I cross paths with people who've shaped and encouraged me. And this weekend, I'm here as part of a working retreat. Our church has come to try and help a bit with Hurricane Helene recovery. It's an honor, really, and I'm humbled to even be part of the process. Lydia and I drove around today and were sad to see so much of this place we both love damaged, gone, littered, unfamiliar. The physical experience of seeing downed trees, empty stores, houses torn apart is heavy - and we're seeing the five months later, sanitized version of the story.

My heart is heavy tonight. It's heavy because this place and her people are suffering. It's heavy because people I want to respect are behaving badly. It's heavy because I worked really, really hard to make this weekend happen and it feels somewhat invisible. But in the heaviness, I am overjoyed to have had 2 days of driving with my daughter. I'm buoyed by the way her heart sees the hurt around us and that her sensibilities are so keen. She knows that we bore witness to sacred storytelling tonight as people who have lived this nightmare day in and day out shared their experience. She holds those tales tenderly and doesn't take the trust with which they were shared lightly.

Tonight is my first to practice this 40 day writing thing. And strangely I don't have a lot of words. There's tension in my thoughts and feelings and today feels super complicated. But I'm in the greatest of company - my girl and me. For her and for this time I'm grateful. For the work tomorrow holds I'm eager. For the lessons I'll carry home with me I'm curious. And for the sleep that awaits me I'm glad.